It was a crisp fall day; the only thing I had on my mind was a Redskin win. Well, that was about to change. As I walked through my yard, I almost stepped in a little present. It was the third time a little present was left in my front yard.
Immediately, I went to work. I ushered the kids inside and got out poster board. I highly recommend keeping an ample supply of poster board around for the occasional protest sign. The kids grabbed some Sharpies and I ran to the basement to get spray paint. With an air of authority I yelled, “Today is the day we will make no pooping signs!” For years the kids have been whining, “When can we make no pooping signs. Please, please, Mommy, let us make no pooping signs!” I decided to give the kids total creative control over their signs.
While they were busy making signs, I decided to mark the spot with spray paint. I started spraying a white circle around the little present and was quickly lost in thought. I started day dreaming about what would happen if I caught the culprit. Here’s the clean version. I run out of the house and say, “What are you going to do with that poop?” The mystery person says, “Nothing, I’m going to leave it in your yard!” This is where you may want to stop reading, cause I’m about to go TIGER MOM. I take a plastic bag, run out, and put the poop in the bag. I then follow the mystery person around with a plastic bag of poop. I’m yelling, “I’m following you till you get to your house! Do you know what I’m going to do with this poop? Do you, do you? Not so tough with a Tiger Mom following you around with a bag of poop, are you?” In my fantasy, I’ve just scared the poop out of the mystery person. I quickly snap out of my day dream and have run out of spray paint. The only thing missing are the signs. I prominently place three no pooping signs in my front yard. A good no pooping sign in your front yard is sure to bring up the house values.
What’s my point? Pick-up after your dog or I might go Tiger Mom on you!
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